Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
