idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Randomize
