Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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