escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
