omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
