Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
