sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Someone came in the potted fern
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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