he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
