I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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