you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
