I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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