there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
