He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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