i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
