So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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