Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
