Swine flu. Run for my life!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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