dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
