even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
