HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
