she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
