you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
