Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
