Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
even my farts smell like vagina
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
