i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
