Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
