Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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