I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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