you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I am spending my child support on dildos
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
