My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
