woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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