the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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