Pappa wants mamma naked
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
