I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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