If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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