the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
