i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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