Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He did a backflip because drugs
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