i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Randomize
