So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
