I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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