Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
