if only i could text you this smell
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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