Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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