question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I could make wine with my vomit
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
