I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
