whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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