omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
My vagina just recognized that song.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
