You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
