I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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